21 Signs The Woman You’re Dating Is A Keeper

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Yes: All women feel sexual attraction for you when you truly are an alpha male in the way you think, behave and take action. But the viral OKCupid blog post about messaging and race confirmed a nagging fear: as a black woman, I am at the bottom of the dating prospects barrel.

I wondered if his wife had found out, but mostly i blamed myself as I had been needy and emotional that week, asking him when he was going to leave etc. But I always feel she has been a good feeling for me. The disappearing, then reappearing act would have put me off much more than the honesty this guy showed. What happens is that I date only 1 or 2 guys a year and nothing lasts more than a month or two.

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At times, without really wanting to, we may end up having a relationship with married men. So are you dating a married man? Read this experience to understand how it feels to date a married man, and how your life can change when you enter this dark world. Click here to read the experience of from the beginning. Of all the relationships you can get into as a girl, dating a married man is one of the worst kinds. When you enter into a relationship with married men, inevitably you step into a world that can reveal a lot of joy, and yet, tear all the happiness away instantly. But why do women fall into this trap in the first place? Dating a married man Indulging in a relationship with married men is confusing, but almost all the experiences that come with it feel the same. And it always starts with the same feelings of confusion, hesitation and attraction. And women, by nature are completely helpless in such circumstances. Getting into a relationship with married men We love helping people we like out of troubling situations. That one conversation in the office cubicle takes you all the way to the coffee shop, the snack bar, the restaurant, and the movie hall. All you start talking about is the good times both of you share every day. The beginning of the end The real dark story unveils here. The little innocent doe in you in most cases braves itself up and walks curiously ahead. You realize you love him too. You just want this man. Lost, angry, annoyed and on the dark side. You are a home wrecker. The realization — Being used by a married man When I was involved with a married man, I felt terribly used. I was helplessly in love. And every time you ask him to walk out of his relationship, it would just lead to frustrated tears. You wake up feeling cheated, used and totally and miserably helpless. Dating a married man is painful and demeaning. And at times, it can take years for you to accept the love of a genuine man you meet later in life. But all this is just the tip of the iceberg of problems when you have a relationship with married men. Click here to know how all this can make you a and the other woman. Liked what you just read? Does this count even if the guy is not married but is with a woman who he has kids with? Neither one of us has ever felt this way before but I think I had an ephiphany today! He knows we will not sleep together until then. But now I feel our relationship is at an impasse. Do I want to live with all that? I think I need to see it and believe it for what it is. Any positive feedback would be much appreciated. At first month he keep telling me he single, but of course I doubted because he never bring me to his place, he was so controlling to the point that pisses me off. So one time I told asked him what do he wants to me aside from what we have at that moment, and there he confessed that he was married to an Indian woman who recently gave birth to their first child, my doubts had been solved! But he went and so we continued seeing each, we went to KL to one of his condo unit there, it was very new, so feels like we two were decorating the place,. I was so innocent, and he confused me a lot, so one time on our 3rd month, I decided not to contact him to think for myself, and what was happening to him, why is he so jealous and almost want me to move as he like. It was so hard for me to understand his action. So the 2 days not responding his message I thought I might get be a better thinking, I know I my heart I started to love him and accept his ways,. But along that days he met up my acquiantance friends asking about me, I did not know what they said to him he was very angry. And one of them told me to tell him the story she made up for me. To my innocent I followed what she said, I did not know that they have planned to get his attention to their friend who could get his interest- petite type. So things was so different when I traveled back home he dated one of my acquiantance friend. February 2010 we met up in KL, he was still the same, checking my phones, my contacts. He even sent messages to some of my friends to check if they are my boyfriends. I was curious also, so in the morning he was taking shower, I check his phone there was one miscall and 1 message received, I did not open. After breakfast we went to shop tables and decors for his new condo unit, I asked him if I could also see his phone, at first he was reluctant but I said, you had my phone all the time you want it. So he gave it to me for all he know his call logs are empty as well as his outbox and inbox,. I told him I saw a miscall and a message while he was at the shower but I respected him and did not open his phone. He was shocked and started to. Make up stories saying that woman is and old girlfriend from Indonesia who worked as a housemaid whom he was helping financially because the father died last year and all. For all I know it was my friend and some acquaintance told me about him and that woman. I hope the two of them have a bad bad karma on their way. We hav neva had ups nd downs,neva fought or wronged eachada in anyway. The thing is it hurts dat he cnt wake next to me in the morning and dat wateve we hav cnt grow. He loves me that I know nd I dnt doubt it! He spends more time with me than he does with his wife,cols me everynight nd often sleeps ova he wud do everythng to b wth me… Wht hurts is dat he has kids, a lovely gal nd a handsum 2year old son. I dd go out wth a guy but ended it bcos I cud not love de guy nd felt it was not fair on him. One reason was my MM said my name while he was having sex wth his wife nd dat also happened to me wth de ada guy I went out with. Honestly, it has started to hurt so bad, fact that i cant call him anytime i want to, cant be with him whenever i feel like being with him. Of course we never talk about his wife, we do talk about the kids, also have a daughter, and they are crazy about each other not her biological father. Its really draining me out!! I just love him so much it hurts! And i refused, stated the facts, that he seemed to ignore. All i know is that I am madly in love with him and he contributes a lot in my happiness. Please tell me how to go about doing this? I fell for my co worker but he was in a 5 year relationship with his girlfriend. He fell in love me and he left his girlfriend soon after he found out I felt the same as he did. I left for school across the country so we tried the long distance thing but it eventually fell through and his over obsessed ex stole him back and eventually got him to marry her all while I was away. I came back after I finished up school and I got my old job back. I did find him mildly attractive and over time as we were working in the same industry, we became closer as we had to be in contact with each other on an almost daily basis. We also attended many of the same industry functions and we never acted on the attraction that became stronger and stronger as time went on. We flirted quite a bit, but there was nothing more than that. He was back at home at that stage and I ignored him, but have carried that comment with me for years. And I kissed him back. Time went on, and we met up occasionally still through industry functions and it was hard to fight that feeling. It was then now over 2 years ago that he told me in her presence that he loved me. I admitted I felt something similar and then literally ran away. He tells me even today that my actions hurt him even then and he never wants me to run away from him again. He has two children, both in high school and is married, of course but claims that his feelings for his wife and the marriage are non existent. He has also said that he wants us to be an exclusive relationship — outside of his marriage. We steal every spare moment we can to be together. We have two kids together I met him at my work when I first started working there we met and then we start hanging out like going to lunch, movies and dinners he was so charming nice and very out going guy then we start liking each other we got so comfortable around each other he ended up liking me a lot he told me he never had this feelings before with a women like me. And just hang up on her. The thing is, he had me quit my job of ten years, move to NY with him in a beautiful home and has given me all the accommodations I need to start my own business, which has been my dream. My question is should I stick it out to get what I want from him and move on, just like he used me, or should I hold onto my morality and run away as fast as I can? Allowed all the indulgence to happen and felt so perfect. Told him then I was in love. Told him to run. Only time I have seen him in 5 weeks. He runs the home, the wife has boyfriend, and job and is gone. But he loves her…. I feel an urge to continue despite my best intuition, some belief that he will provide for me in the future and father my children. I love him, but know that love would be best to leave him alone…. Our interests are similar and our intellectual conversations so grandoise that I am pleased. But I want him here with me and have a very hard time sharing him. I need a night, weekend, a touch, but understand that is too much. Logic, analytics, and reason have partially left, and hope, dreams, and tingling have taken over. I forgive him, myself, and the wife who called me yelling the first night, when a stranger from home town let her know. He means more to me than her, so i continued. Now I wonder if any of it was worth it, but I kNOW I love him. I donot know until now how stupid, naive i was… he told me all lies. He does not love his wife blah blah.. Finally i found he loves his wife more than anything. He is with me only for sex.. I was stupid and went to have a kid with him then i found out the truth that he has no love for me. When i was pregnant, he was sending his wife all love messages and did not want to break his marriage where on other hand myself and my kid were left alone with nothing…. It took me 7 years and ruined my whole life. Now i am single struggling mom with no help from anyone …. I would advise everyone to stay away from married man, they always love their wives and will never leave them for you. So its good idea to wait until they are divorced.. He had a 2 month fling with a woman he met. A customer, hes in contruction. The thing is, infidelity is A HORRIBLE THING. It was an accident.. If ppl RESPECTED THERE SELVES MORE, and respected EACHOTHER more.. We could really have a better world. A lot of times there are children involved, and I think people should try and respect others. They never leave there wives for a side deal. There are some women that are wife material, and some women that are mistress material. Cause u just feeding an ego. Ur selling urself short. I wonder whether that is common. Do married men prey on women with little to no educaiton, in particular? Think with your head, and not with what is between your legs, girls. A married man cheats because he can. A former boyfriend tried to run this bs game on me. Each and every time he intentionally runs into me when I am out and about, I greet him with the same words, before he can even finish his b. The snake-like grin immediately departs from his stupid face, and he gets a look of resentment bordering on dislike. I would use him for money, sex, and career advancement networking opportunities. You give cheating a bad name! I have been faithful but last week the most attractive and interesting man i have ever met in my life confessed that he wants to sleep with me. However I know he is married and has kids with this woman. I am moving to Spain to be with my boyfriend in January so would a quick sexual fling before I leave be the worst thing ever? I strongly urge you to consider what is lacking in your current relationship that you would feel the need to look elsewhere? I also strongly urge you to NOT proceed with sleeping with this other man, despite, how much you feel drawn to him. If you want to pursue this relationship, you should not end your current relationship. You should not enter into marriage with a foundation of lies and receipt. The marriage will be doomed to fail. Maybe you need to take some time to date the man who is returning from Spain and really get to know him and make sure he is the right man for you to commit to for the rest of your life. I strongly urge you to consider what is lacking in your current relationship that you would feel the need to look elsewhere? I also strongly urge you to NOT proceed with sleeping with this other man, despite, how much you feel drawn to him. If you want to pursue this relationship, you should end your current relationship. You should not enter into marriage with a foundation of lies and receipt. The marriage will be doomed to fail. Maybe you need to take some time to date the man who is returning from Spain and really get to know him and make sure he is the right man for you to commit to for the rest of your life. I was involved in an affair about 14 years ago with a married coworker. We connected as soon as we met and became friends. I was only about 23 at the time and he was 12 years older. Right from the beginning he told me that his wife did not have much of a sex drive and always had excuses, but he still loved her. They were also raising their two children together. We tried to hold back, but it ended up happening anyway, and lasted close to 2 years. I stopped it and attempted to have a real relationship for myself. I also figured that I was young, made some mistakes along the way, and that I could get over it and move on. During my two short relationships and the one I have been in now for ten years, we always remained friends. I had even turned him down five years ago when he wanted to get involved again. But it was too late. I was still in love with him. We have now been involved again for the last 3 months. He still has bouts of guilt over it, but he also has a lot of confusion now. It has to happen on its own. But the more distance I created, the more my heart yearned for him. I do have one question for any of you who have had long-term involvement. Have any of you told the wife, even if just out of frustration? My partner, yeah, a married man, was my classmate in graduate school about 6-7 years ago. I knew back then that he had some physical attraction with me as he often volunteers to take me home after our class. And he successfully did for a couple of times and in those occasions he told me that he is already married and that I should not send him text messages or even call him. I respected that of course because I was never attracted to him actually! Mending a broken heart We both stopped schooling did not see each other for almost 4 years until early last year when I had the break up with my 2-year boyfriend. I was still madly in love with my ex during our first meetings and I never really thought of entering into any serious relationship with him. It was too late before I realized that I was already hooked in this crazy love with him. The out-of town trips and escapades made us closer and I appreciated his presence, as he has never left me during the lowest low points of my life. He was so sweet and kind to me. The way he kisses me, embraces me and lets his fingers run through my hair proves that. He keeps on saying that he loves me so much, much more than he loves his wife. He said that even before we met each other he is already having difficulties in dealing with his wife but he cannot do anything but support her because of their two kids. We were instantly attracted to each other. We kissed and it was amazing … But then he told me he was married. I told him we need to stop and I continued the evening as politely as possible. I started making a pass at me. This insulted me to my core. He tole he has never felt this way and his sorry. I told him he needs to leave. I said fine then I will. I said apology accepted but it ends here. He said please let me take you for coffee.. Are you kidding me? These guys are not honourable men! And you will be the one who gets hurt in the end.. I for one am a woman if integrity and will not be treated as second best! I want to be number one! He handsome and your soulmate who will fuck you up in more ways than one! Not going to happen girls …. Your lying to yourself!! Move on and stand proud of walking away like I did! Has your husband started divorce proceedings? Your husband is a loving man and might forgive you as he is a Christian man. Think about your children and what they have been through and will continue to go through if you do not stop seeing the MM. Think of his wife and children and how destroying their marriage will cause them immeasurable pain. Kimberly call your husband and just see if he is open to a discussion, the devestation of continuing down the path you are on will be irreversible. They dated for a year before, and they broke it off because he would always say that he was going to leave his wife for my ex but never did. She is very beautiful, he is average at best. I just wish this never happened as I love her so much and this hurts really bad. Are women really this naive? These stories of married men dating other females are almost carbon copied versions of eachother and all seem to have the same end result-pain for everyone involved. We started at the same job on the same day. We started going to training together. I later found d out that he intentionally application d for the same class as me. He started to pay a lot of attention to me. Getting jealous when I start talking to other guys. I was really enjoying all of the attention. We started becoming really close. We talk about everything but the conversation really centered around sex. We can only text sometimes on the weekends. We were doing all of this while both of us are Ina committed relationship. My boyfriend eventually found out but he decided to stay and give my chances after chances. I finally broke it off this past Monday with the MM. I know better and I deserve better. I came I to this situation not expecting anything and I finally left the MM with nothing but a broken heart. I have not really had a bf before and it saddens me that am the other woman in my first relationship…I know it will end one day…. Like over eating, we love the taste and ignore the empty calories. Like over drinking, we love the feeling and ignore the effect on our heart. Affairs with married men upset us, they upset their wives us one day! Think about it ladies. Therefore, you can delete all of his words. He is not a God. He is a rat. Men must finish one thing before they begin another! You are complicit in his being unfaithful, which is the same as saying he can one day do the same to you. Your standards are low, he knows it and he does not respect you for it. This man is using you for the short term infatuation. Long term love will never be part of the deal. I do not believe all women that fall for a married man have lower self esteem or are poorly educated, or horrible women , sometimes your life can lack excitement and when someone makes you feel special unlike anyone else you want to hold on to that. I definately do not have poor self esteem i am attractive and i know i could find a bf tomorrow if i wanted too, i know im intelligent i have studied medicine, and i know I am overall a good person I do a lot of charity work and try to help people as much as possible. I was in love with someone who cheated on me with a woman twice my age and he lied constantly to me so when it ended i didnt want to let anyone close I stayed single for a few years had been working in this company for over a year with an older man who i always respected he was never sleazy and we just got along really well. He would tell me about his problems and i told him mine. One day he mentioned he had a silly dream that we were dancing we both laughed then i started having dreams about him just of us having coffee and enjoying each others company. I had never thought of him in that way he was always just a work collegue in my eyes who i thought was intelligent and sweet.. I would never have imagined i would fall for a married man but it did happen to me and the moment i realised actually happened almost 2 years into knowing him without anything sexual between us he took his glasses off and he just stared deeply into my eyes I felt such a deep connection to this man it wasnt even a sexual thing i just knew i wanted to be with him every day for the rest of my life. We started to enjoy each others company so much we would meet just for a coffee and we would call each other 20 times a day we became best of friends but we knew that we were both falling for each other. He has told me he is miserable in his relationship but after my experiences with my ex bf cheating on me and lying i dont have much trust in men as much as i want to believe him i am going to wait until it happens. I want him to make that choice not me and i want him to leave because he is unhappy not for it to feel like im ruining the relationship I want him to be happy more than anything and will support whatever he chooses but i think its essential to distance yourself block the call if need be and if he comes after you and sorts his stuff out then he loves you other than that he is just using you and thats not fair on anyone involded.. I know I want to be with someone who shows me they love me not tells me. He is 28yrs older. I just discovered I like him. My mm has been lavishing a lot on me. But he wants sex and am confused cos I av a boyfriend av been dating for two years and av never cheated in my life. Once, I suspected my boyfriend cheated. I feel I should also cheat, after he cheated and may still cheat. I need advice before I make a mistake. I was approached by a man at a temp job I was working and I agreed to meet him for a lunch. He said at that time he was married. He and his wife have lived in different states for the last 10 years and maintain separate households but spend about 3 months of the year together. It was casual at first, just dinners and it was nice to be wined and dined by a man who could afford a decent restaurant. He contacted me after his wife left but I cut it off via email and that was that, 5 months ago. The problem is, I still think about him and I went down the rabbit hole after ending it and had horrible self-doubts and over ate and basically went catatonic for while. Well, the hole of emotional abandonment is always there and will always be there. That will make you face all your issues, I assure you. That two year old pre-verbal child only feels a primal ache. An ache, a hole, that exists at a primal level as it was formed before the language ability or the conceptual knowledge or life experience to experience that other than anything but a primetive abandonment that threatened my survival. This story of abandonment played itself out with this married man in the aftermath of breaking it off from him. I think some of the posts above reflect that same natural desire to delay that pain but that chicken is going to come home to roost some day and you might as well end it and figure out how and why that type of relationship was so appealing to you in the first place. He is everything to me and we love each other so much. I met him when I was working as a receptionist, he was a visitor to my place of work. When he walked in on that faithful day, I knew he was just right for me even before he approached. We shared everything we have together. He lives abroad with his wife and children and comes home often:at least three times a year and we spend more than a month together before leaving. Though he spends festive periods with his family abroad. He has been my source of strength, support financially and emotionally , a friend, lover and a shoulder to cry on. We do have the occasional love fight and we settle it. He calls me virtually everyday. We exchange text message and Instant Messages almost every time. We even agreed on having a kid or two together. I just want to be around him and know that we will have a bond forever. Recently his wife has been suspecting things happening between us, she has seen my pictures, knows my mobile number, my name and even my email. Neither do I want to see his wife hurt; I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. Just yesterday, his wife called me on phone saying all sorts of things to me, I never replied and this morning, she sent me a text message calling me all sort of names. I am hurt right now, so is my man and his wife. What I need is an advice. Its not easy walking out of a long-time relationship. That is my personal choice. Are you people for real…are you serious? Some of your interpretations of why your doing it, or feeding into his sob story, or even allowing yourself to even consider dating this man as a grown-up mature option is incredible to me. What in your brain makes it easy for you to make the transition from what you know is right to what you seriously know to be wrong? I do not have the time or patience for that…at all. I have better things to do with my life, stop trying to involve me in your mess. If your not satisfied with your life, just move on, stop wasting my time with your nonsense. Instead of trying to work things out with their wives, because there is a communication problem between them. Take it somewhere, please, thank you very much. Yes I am shamed to say I have been with a married man, but separated man for 11 yrs now. I now fell as if I need to end it because I know or feel something that just not going to be to me. He live in his own house and so does she wife. She knows who I am but never meet her. And you can not judge until u are n that situation yourself. I can say my mom and dad some what did the same thing in between there divorce or separation. And I have told him to I have wasted a lot of time with this so called relationship. My family of course do not approve and is very disappointed but I am not worried how others feel just how I am going to talk with him and tell him how I feel and go from there and see what is really going to be official or not and I can move on. I have invested way more then what I wanted to in this relationship financially, emotionally and time. I have never meet his children or mother which passed 2 yrs ago and that would have been wrong anyway ,right. I am angry at myself and been so self involved with him I have lost myself I feel. I just want say for those that have have started to get involved DONT DO IT ITS NOT WORTH IT. My affair lives right next door and its been going on for two years. His kids love me and think the world of me and my kids feel the same. On any given day I can go sit on the porch with his wife and have a conversation and he can do the same with my husband. So yes I get the family gatherings, the birthdays, some of the holidays but as a neighbor and semi friend. Its not all its cracked up to be. I see him talk to friends on the phone and text them but it seems like I only get snippets of convos in our front yard. He knows it bugs me. He will do most anything for me. Sometimes I want to march over and tell his wife and make it end because neither one of us are strongenough to do it on our own. Soon I feel in love with another single man.. He beg me to stay 15yrs ago i said u must going take care of me he said yes and im makin sure he do what he said i live along so we dont have to go to the hotel i know its going end bad but when he tried to cheat on me i have to let him know u beg me to stay now u trying to cheat on me see im not ur wife so i dont play that crap shyt im not in denial i made sure he video use makin love with my cell phone, he told me if anything happen to him he want me to be takin care of so im the beneficary on a insurance policy, he pay for my schooling ,got me a car,o with the insurance policy i have it and he give me the money for it everything is in my name so he cant take nuthin im not with my family but u still with ur so this how its going be u want to play lets play im not going out with just a broken heart and let someone manipulate,lie,cheat,and think he going have his cake and eat it to well i got a different route i will have a broken heart but i have a few thing i got out of it. I preparing my self for when that day come. My friends say just leave him along dont answer ur phone when he call but aint that what he want or a easy way of letting go if i just walk away that mean he can do somebody else the same way and think it ok im make sure he know it not riteto play on female emotion somebody can get seriously hurt but if blackmail u will make u think twice about do it a again then so be it ….. I set it up as a lark between relationships. Married men are perfect. I can do what I want and pretend to always be pining for our time together in a chattanooga hotel. She told everyone in my family. It nearly ruined my life. I was do distracted I almost lost my job. He did lose his. His wife hates me. Apparently he told her some if my gifts to him were from his boss and she sent thank you notes. I feel wretched about it all. There are kids his involved. Sounds like you know the couple. R did you know her b4 affair? Did you pick him out because you knew there were problems? We meet- crazy attraction- sex, etc etc. Like i say- i was confronted and crumbled- i could not lie- i loved my current partner so much- but we were companions and hadnt slept together in about 4 years. We were great companions though- loving anf warm- just no real deep sexual draw. This new person — wow! Electricity- and still is after 5 months- several x a week -dates and great sex. Long story longer-i moved out and am dealing with sorrow and guilt over ending my safe and companionship oriented life- but the one i am seeing is still in their relationship. They have nearly 20 years together. But have no sexual interest and have some discord — squabble etc. I still have unfinished business- and like many say- it is lonely. One time an overnight- cannot call, text unless know it is safe. Emails can lead to misunderstanding, there is drama and challenge that you dont get in a clear and open relationship- and i think it is beginning to wear on me. The muted feelings- the coming and going and wondering. The empty saturday and sunday mornings. Etc — i hate to pull an ultimatum- but i think i may have to say — i cant see you until you are free to see me — like a normal person. Not hiding and losing friends. Does it bother me that he is married? Why do you ask? We have an understanding that I have nothing to lose and he does. You knew the risks prior to entering the relationship. Now to those who were lied to, once you found out you should have called it quits. My married man is honest with me and I keep nothing from him. If he feels as if he is going to be unavailable for a few days, he will let me know. During those times I plan a girls trip, or I simply enjoy MY ME TIME ALONE! Read a good book, find a great movie to watch, or whatever it is that you like to indulge in. I know she knows about me, because of the length of time that we spend together. I have never requested that he leave her either. He has told me several times that if I choose to date another man, he will leave me alone and be fair. Because he loves me enough to know that I deserve better. I make my own decisions. I know what is best for me. Yes, I got caught up in a love affair with a married man that has endured almost a decade and in many ways, its has been beautiful, yet bittersweet. We fell in love deeply over a long period of time. Our intelligence is what bonded us in the first place. We both have PhDs and are scientists. Neither of us meant for it to happen, but it did. After 2 months of dating I realized that something was wrong, he has been making all kinds of excuses not showing me where he lives and never introduced me to any of his friends. He asked me to give him 6 months to finish his marriage. I was madly in love with him by then, and struggled for nearly a month before I finally decided to leave him. Things then made a very interesting turn. Then on the 7th day, he showed up at my door and told me he already filed for divorce! His wife read our emails on his laptop and also saw my pictures in our hiking trip without his knowledge. His wife said I am a beautiful woman and we belong to each other. It would be selfish for her to keep him when the marriage is already dead. Although she is a professional herself, he makes more than double of her income. But she decided not asking for alimony. He said he is very lucky to have two very good and understanding women to love him! So I too use lies of omission on a constant basis. I love him very much, but these lies of omission are so annoying, and I know his behavior will never change. He is my colleague and my trainer too. I know this is soon going to end. I am 22 and he is 33, his wife lives abroad so its kinda long distance relationship thing between them. But he is soon going to move too. He keeps on saying that he is crazy about me and i keep making him realize that i know this is temporary and i am indifferent with this fact. Though i am not very not much into him till now but i am scared if i get. He keeps on touching me everywhere and honestly i like it too, but i know this is wrong. Now he wants me to have sex with him, i have agreed upon it but somewhere in my mind i want to say no to it.. My soul, not only my heart was crushed. He is the director of the school I worked in! I am tired and I am realizing he just wants sex! When I think of everything all together I feel so disgusting…. How was I such a fool…. I am a married man, that tried with couple therapy and personal to recover our marriage. I found a beautiful cute princess and we got attracted from the first moment, we texted much we talked much and had incredible conversations full of content and culture, she considered me her mentor I am older , she did not have the problem of me being married as she told me she was very open minded, but from the beginning I explained that we had problems. She told me that she was in for any type of relationship. After 2 times being in bed she woke up one morning feeling guilty about hurting my wife, even without knowing how close was my separation I am in the process of moving out to an apt. She tells me that she loves me but that she wants the best for me and that perhaps I should talk to my wife, that this last couple of days have been terrible for her and that it has been hard to take this decision but she wants to live with honesty and truth in her life and that she needs to think of her. I wrote an email explaining the exact situation and have wrote other facts to have in mind in her decision and to please think again with all the additional info. I do not know what can I do to have a second chance on our relationship, although the relationship is pretty young I feel like she backed up just a couple of days before taking that feeling of guilty by what was going to happen. Do you not have any morals???? What about your vows? There are just promises that are easily broken correct? You people disgust me. Shame on you all!! He always talk about our future, how he want us end up happy with a family , kids , house etc. I have been seeing this MM off and on for 13 to 14 years now. Not months but years. I approached him; at work, some years ago. I fell for him and I thought he fell for me too. He will never leave his wife family for me or anyone; so I have heard him say to me before. The sex is outstanding. The man himself is awesome. He is strong, positive, caring, and more but he does belong to someone else. And the reality is that he will never belong to me. I have told him goodbye before and he has pushed me away before; but, in some way, he and I were back again. I feel like crap. I have three children of my own and he has two with his wife. I was pregnant twice; with his children and he begged and begged for me not to have them. He told me that his marriage would be over if I did. Stupid me did not have them. It seems that I have more respect for his marriage then respect for myself. I care about him a lot but I know that I have wasted so much of my life on a wish or dream that I know will never come true for me. Sometimes things just happen and a woman can unexpectedly find herself in a situation with a MM. I was 51 she was 28. I was married, for 20 years, to an alcoholic with all the usual issues; my lover had a complicated childhood relationship with her parents daddy issues? I was in a senior management position that she indirectly supported. It started purely sexual. And the sex was fantastic, for both of us. Now she has met an age-appropriate single man and is aiming toward marriage and kids which I can not have. But the pain is real and seemingly endless. He worked as a delivery man at the time and delivered a parcel to my house. A week later he came back again and we started talking, exchanged numbers, met up for a date I think 2 weeks later. After the movie in his car he said he wanted me to know he was married. Time passed, he fell head over heels in love with me. I was very distant. I had never met anyone as nice as him, but I dated other guys as well and was just enjoying my time with no plans of the future. He was sad of the ending but still remained my friend. We still saw each other and he kept being true to me. He comes to sleepover at least twice a week. However it breaks my heart everytime he leaves around 3-4 in the morning. In June 2014 we went to vacation to Jamaica to his childhood home. I met his dad, nephews, sister, friends and cousins. We had a lovely time and also spent some nights in Negril in a hotel. His wife obviously thought he went alone. I dream of nothing but a future together and a mixed babysoon. I think he loves her. His kids at home is 3 and 6. It was after out vacation to Jamaica the reality started to kick in for me and I realized this was no longer no ordinary crush. I now want nothing more than to settle down, whilst when I first met him and he mentioned having kids I just laughed it off. And when I see so many comments and broken hearts, I can truly tell how powerful these women are! He trusts her in ways he will never trust you. And we blame ourselves for that. It doesn t matter if we are younger, thinner, prettier, more passionate or better listeners. His real emotions remains with his family, which makes us even more proud of him. There is nothing favorable in seeing a married man. I cringe at how low my self esteem had to have been to allow this horrible treatment of myself. I guess I needed to wake up and start liking myself so I would no longer subject myself to rejection over and over again from anyone. He not only ruined my mind, my relationship with my daughter, my finances, my health, etc. Thankfully, you will eventually be able to see thru the lies, and see you have wasted your life. Believe me, they never cared and will leave your life like you never existed. I wish I could have gotten rid of that albatross a lot sooner almost 6 years worth. But the damage was done. He is NOT available to you, and that will never change no matter how many times you talk to his voice mail. No matter what he tells you, HE IS NOT LEAVING HIS WIFE! If he were a decent person to begin with, he would not be sleeping around behind her back, or hurting other women by getting involved with them only for sex, nothing more. He will keep on lying to everyone so he can continue to do it. You are NOT in a relationship, he is NOT your boyfriend. But most importantly, YOU would be his priority, his number one. I wish I would have heeded these red flags. The no call, no show, starts right at the beginning of the affair, and it screams he does not care about you, even if he says he loves you. THEY ARE STILL SLEEPING WITH THEIR WIVES! That is the biggest fallacy of all. Of course he knows this one works with every affair he has. How could I have ever believed him when he lied to his wife about his infidelity, but was being faithful to me. I was just being stupid! When push comes to shove, but way less with a married man, he will never be there when you need him the most. Remember, this is all about what works for him, NOT YOU. You are not the love of his life. And you find this out pretty early into the affair. And while you are wasting your love on someone who is a dead end with no future prospects, no matter what lie he tells you you are wasting valuable years with a cheat instead of finding someone who will make YOU number one. YOU being everything he needs. But I can always hope. No, you are not in a relationship, this is not a whole thing, he is only there for himself, to screw you and leave. You have nothing together. If he could afford it he probably would rather pay a hooker than be with you so he could leave immediately. If there was one thing in my life I would do over, it would be NOT getting involved with a married man. But unfortunately, there are no do overs in life. Hopefully you have learned something about pretending you are a friend to this man when you had NO BUSINESS stepping into our marriage. My daughter is horribly broken by this, my husband is in need of help for his depression. You gave him blowjobs like a fool while your little girls slept nearby. NOW YOU NEED HELP. And for your little girls, too. Talk about a course correction. I will NEVER entertain an unavailable man EVER again. STOP WHILE YOU CAN. I repeat: do not take your inner peace for granted, we are fragile human beings and over-confidence in these matters is an illusion. I really love him. We met last one year. At first , i dont know that he married. He lied to me. One day, his wife phoned to me n asked what is happening between us. We have a kid who is 6years old. But actually, they have no kid! At this tme, i am so angry n annoyed. I did not contact him anymore. So we seperated 6 months. And then he was phone to me n he said he love me. When he was calling me, i was so so happy. Now, i dont want to lose him. But Sometimes, i want to revenge him n his wife. We met innocently off a music app we both used on our phones. From there it led to 2 years of texting each other as friends. We are both of the same culture and seemed to have a lot in common. From that time on, our friendship escalated into more. We met for coffe and lunches a bunch of times and really hit it off. We enjoyed each others company a lot. After 7 great dates, he booked a hotel for us and we had a very passionate day of intense love making. We recently went on that concert and had an amazing time and I am afraid I am falling for him hard. The highs are amazing but the lows when I miss him are heart wrenching too. We compliment each other so well. Nothing has ever been more bittersweet in my life, but I have no regrets because I have never been happier and neither has he. I was married to the actual scum of the earth.. None the less… It was a horrid marriage.. The stuff of nightmares and b movies.. I was not ready to have a full on type of relationship with anyone when I met MM. I did not want to live with anyone. Little did I know this was a perfect fit for him. Many years passed and I finally felt like I was ready, ready to move forward with him. I came out and just asked him one day.. What do you think about living together… The squirmmy response was unsettling… Things started kind of going down hill at that point.. Cutting to the end.. I had to go deal with some business regarding my ex husband. The lady that I met with to discuss the situation we were dealing with kept telling me.. I recognize you from somewhere… I however did not recognize her.. After working with her for an hour and upon my departure.. I said yes, why. I then took it upon myself to do the research.. And of course, the records I found and some photos, thank you Facebook, I was able to prove that he is in fact married and living with his wife. He of course denies denies denies.. It was never my intention to be a person who dated a married man.. And in hind sight.. Free from a lie. Women are the center of life.. If he is married, and wants to cheat, he is not worth your time.. You deserve more than that. I am far from stupid PhD , but yes, I am still with my married man and still happy. The situation is not perfect, but our relationship has been nothing but truly beautiful and amazing. Almost a decade later, we are still going strong. He is a fantasy man, a bit older than me…good-looking, flawless dresser, great personality, wealthy, world class businessman and yes he helps me financially on the rare occasion that I need help. He is about as sweet and loving as a man can be and he is the perfect lover and friend. Our bond has proved to be unbreakable, although I remain aware that it could break at some point. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. I mentioned before that I left him once and returned to him. I actually severed all ties and hid from him, but he found me. He has stuck with me through thick and thin and vice versa. If anything, our love for one another has deepened over time. He takes me on trips that he plans around things that I like and enjoy. I admit that I like the lifestyle…five star restaurants and hotels, limos, etc. I am aware that this may be wrong, but I cannot walk away from him. His wife dropped the ball and did not take care of his needs, so he sought another. She failed to recognize the man that he is and saw him only as a provider, etc. I know he is not leaving his wife and family and I have not and will not ask him to do so. We talk about everything. Does it hurt sometimes? I would not encourage any woman to enter into such a relationship. I was involved in a toxic relationship for 4 years and I honestly believe that I am afraid of commitment. One of them is aware of he other and says that soon i will eventually end that and only focus on him. Sometimes I feel bad about the lies I tell, but I am not getting hurt. I know karma is real. I am not seeking to hurt anyone. I even tell them that when she calls….. One day I will end it but for now my bills are getting paid and I am happy. It was the best, most elated I have ever felt but also there was a crushing sadness that I felt often when we had such short time together or I thought of him going home to his wife. However hard I found it I set myself a limit. I knew it would destroy me breaking up with him but I also knew I was worth more than part time. It might never be the same with anyone else, even so I DESERVED more. It made me so, so, so sad — I cant even tell you how much. However I am also a testament to say that if the love is that strong you will make it work. I never got to my limit. Its hard but we will always make it work. So it can happen, you can have all you want but you have to be realistic. If he loves you, truly, he will leave. Know your own value and that you are deserving of a full time love. I had separated with my husband and living alone with my 11 year old Kid. I am really obsessed with this guy. Even he loves me soo much but he is afraid to tell to his wife and others. Everytime I say he says the time will come and he will surely tell this. I believe him blindly. He has given me so much of happiness that no one can give me ever. He has been one of the most wonderful person in this world. But I pity his wife really. I pity myself too. I feel disgusted seeing him beside her. I feel I am the one in that place. I appreciate a lot what he has given me lots and lots of love. But I do not know what I should do. I cannot leave him not can he. In fact if i ever think about leaving him, I get so much pain that I feel like dying. Its been more than 3 years now. We are mentally and physically husband and wife but only between us. Its always a secret for all. I have told my parents about him. I dont understand why these so called MM be afraid of telling about their alleged affair if they can get into. I am in a fix I have no family. No one except him in my life. My family doesnt know about his marraige. I do not want to tell them either. I know my mother would kill me. Also they will never talk to me. I do not want to leave him as I know he is the only one I can stay with for my life. I am ready to be his mistress for ever. They will always insult me for the same. Even the day his wife knows about all this , I will be the one to be the Blamed one. But I am ready to accept all this. I sometimes feel that i will never get him. But still I am enjoying his company. I am giving him a few years I know after that I will have no choice but still I am giving, later if says NO then???? I do not know what to do. SIMPLY JUST DIE thats it. My love for him has been very pure. I feel the same from him too. Lets wait and watch whats there for me. No regrets this time. Because I have got lot of love from him and I can carry that love in my mind forever. Just hope he comes to me asap. I cannot bear the pain anymore living without him. I want him in my life proudly. I know I am not that lucky. But I will wait and watch. Hope he understands what is really important to him. You feel so used especially when they cut things off and you have given everything to someone who didnt deserve it. You see the pictures on social media of him and his wife when you know the truth he is a cheater. Shes not telling truth about the MARRIAGE issues outside of social. Shes happy her MARRIAGE most ladys are living in a blind MARRIAGE.

Figure out why they get up in the morning. A lot of people see me as a black person, first and foremost. When you have sex with her, in a way, she owns you. This gives me insight into real men and frankly, real men are awful in the way they think about sex and women. Your answer and this article may have saved me of lot of headache and pain tonight. She gave him a second chance. I do not want to tell them either. I am a married man, that tried with couple therapy and personal to recover our marriage. The sex is outstanding. Sometimes , things just happen. You have a few interactions with a woman you work with and then start fantasizing at night about being in a relationship with her, while she is probably sleeping with a guy who had the guts to approach her and escalate to kissing and sex.